What to Do When Your Spouse Is Not a Believer

The Bible encourages us to be “equally yoked” in marriage. That image is drawn from farming days when animals were used to work the fields and a yoke was laid across the backs of two animals. If the animals were unequally yoked, the work they were set out to do would be so much more difficult than it needed to be. However, if they were equally yoked, they could share the burden of the work they needed to do and accomplish much more together than if they were alone.

Similarly, if your spouse is not a believer, you may find that you have a much more difficult time in your day to day life as your goals may not align with those of your spouse. So what are you supposed to do if you find yourself in a spiritually uneven marriage?

Prioritize Your Relationship with Jesus

Just because we’re called to be married to other Christians, that doesn’t mean that we should leave our spouse over their unbelief. Instead, take some time to read what the Bible actually says on this subject. While it may be your hope and desire for your spouse to also know the love of Jesus, it might not happen overnight. You need to be prepared for that. Here are a few verses to get you started:

  • 1 Thessalonians 5:21
  • 2 Corinthians 6:14
  • 1 Corinthians 7:12-13
  • 1 Corinthians 7:17
  • Matthew 6:33
  • Proverbs 6:27

Be Authentic

No one likes a holier-than-thou personality, especially not in their own home. If Jesus has transformed your life and your heart, don’t pretend you’re better than anyone else for it. Be authentic and be open and honest with your spouse. If you try to put on an act, he or she will see right through it and feel even more alienated.

Talk to Your Pastor or Counselor

In addition to asking for prayer, ask someone who you trust to offer Godly advice regarding your specific situation.

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